Note: Today’s article is about breaking free of the “linear” path and using unconventional connections to get big results. if you haven’t read my ultimate guide How to Connect With Anyone Without Networking, read that now. It’s required reading for making these concepts work. And make sure to download the free PR hacking template while you’re there.
Why is it so hard to believe that the really good things that happen to other people can actually happen to you, too?
We love to indulge our own capacity for disbelief.
We watch Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and somehow we know, deep down, that we’ll never win.
We see people taking the trips that we want to take, getting the promotions we want and dating the people we admire — and despite knowing that “anything is possible” — it’s pretty easy to admit that…well…some things just seem IMPOSSIBLE.
Why is that?
Part of the reason is because we’ve been aggressively programmed to accept opposing ideas for our entire lives.
On one side, we’re taught to covet what successful people have.
Our TVs and computer screens are filled with images of material wealth and stories of people who started from the bottom and somehow became massively successful.
I’m not legally allowed to say “started from the bottom” without showing you this
We’re even taught to believe that if we work hard enough, any of these things can be ours, too.
But on the other hand…we’re taught not to expect TOO much.
We’re told that good things come to those who wait — and we haven’t been waiting long enough.
We’re told that everybody has to pay their “dues” in order to become successful.
And we’re taught that life progresses on a predictable linear path, along which all of our goals can be met.
Very early on in our lives…maybe even as early as middle school, we start to shape our views about trajectory.
We develop our own “Spectrum of Possibility” through which many things happen inevitably, as long as we just don’t die.
Sure, not EVERYTHING comes easily….but for the most part, there are certain life milestones we just EXPECT to achieve because they all fall around the line of “best fit” that our lives predictably follow.
(Bet you wish you didn’t sleep through 8th grade geometry now, huh?)
It might look something like this:
This is the standard Spectrum. Linear, clear and predictable.
Graduating from college is easy. Everyone does that now.
Buying a new house and getting married. Piece of cake, when the time is right.
Get a promotion? Sure, you can do it. Just stick with it long enough.
Even though we occasionally struggle, all these things are well within our Spectrum of Possibility.
Some things, however, don’t fall neatly within the Spectrum. They are outliers.
These outliers are uncomfortable to talk about with others or even think about too much because they don’t seem realistic or achievable — even though we know other people have done them.
And here’s the kicker: These outliers are the things that we REALLY want out of life.
What does our Spectrum look like when we add in everything that seems “impossible?” Umm…don’t mind that small dot in the corner. Thx.
Every dream that we once had as a child is most likely an outlier now.
We used to tell ourselves:
“One day, I’ll become President!”
“I want to go to the moon!”
“When I grow up, I’m going to marry a prince!”
But those dreams are quickly quashed when we realized one depressing fact: there’s simply no linear path to get there.
Nope.
What if you had to start a million dollar business? Could you do it?
From where we’re sitting, it doesn’t seem like there’s anything simple we can do to ensure that we’ll start a business from scratch and successfully make $1,000,000.
Maybe this makes you mad.
Perhaps you start to think about children who just “luck” into the right family.
You say to yourself, “Ugh, if my dad was Elon Musk, this would be EASY!”
And sure, with Elon as your dad, starting a million dollar business doesn’t seem like much of a feat. Think of all the resources you’d already have. A successful business would be smack dab in the middle of your “Spectrum of Possibility.”
But Elon’s not your dad, sadly. There’s no linear path.
Bridging the gap to impossible: Solving complex problems with simple actions
At this point, many people would be ready to give up.
Of course, nobody says the phrase “give up.”
We often say things like, “It’s not in the cards” or “It’s not meant to be.”
“I wanted to act on Broadway…but I guess it just wasn’t meant to be…”
“I’d love to travel more…but with the kids…it just isn’t in the cards…”
Excuse my French…but what the fuck do those statements mean?
Allow me to translate: they mean that you haven’t spent a lot (or any…) time actively planning how to get from one place to another, so you lean back on luck.
Then, when luck falls through, you’re assumptions are validated.
“Yep…I knew it was impossible.”
That’s right, folks. Your brain is taking shortcuts. If we see a task in front of us without immediately seeing the clear, linear solution…our brain is quick to move it from the “possible” pile to the depths of impossibility.
But what if there was another way to look at these complex problems?…
Pretend, for just a second, that you want to go to outer space.
(Ok, maybe you actually do. So just act normally.)
What steps would you have to take in order to get from where you are right now to orbiting around the planet?
99% of people have already disqualified themselves with excuses like:
“I didn’t go to space camp when I was a kid. I don’t know anything about space.”
“Only military officers/celebrities/aliens get to do that. I’d never be allowed.”
As you can see, most of these excuses stem from childhood and missed opportunities. You figure that your trajectory is pretty set at this point, and space travel is not in your path.
But you may be wrong. There are three powerful factors you’re ignoring:
- Positioning
- Luck
- Incremental progress
Here’s how you leverage them….
1.) Positioning: Simply put, being in the right place.
If you want to make it to outer space, make sure you’re in the places where other prospective space dwellers might hang out.
- It helps to start off in a aerospace or engineering-related major in college.
- Is Neil Armstrong giving a talk at a charity event? You better be there trying to meet him after the event.
- Adult space camp…yeah, that exists. You need to sign up.
None of these activities alone will actually result in you going to space. For this reason, you might even think they seem frivolous and stupid — but they’re absolutely crucial.
Why?
Because you need positioning to create good luck.
2.) Luck: Combining the right place with the right time.
Good luck is never a matter of chance. Though it can often appear that way.
In this context, timing comes down to being in the right position OFTEN enough.
You know, funny things happen as you continually put yourself out there over and over again.
At first, you’ll get menial, seemingly unimportant wins.
But those snowball into bigger wins as you keep playing the game until you get a big “break.”
From the outside, that break will look like luck. But you know it was just the snowball paying off.
This is exactly what happened when I leveraged 4 or 5 lucky connections to get a job hosting a TV show, then parlayed that into interviewing Shark Tank star Lori Greiner.
Resources:
3.) Incremental Progress : This is just what it sounds like — small improvements over time.
You’re in the right place.
You make sure that you’re there often.
Things are starting to happen for you.
Now it’s up to YOU to steer the ship and take advantage of the new opportunities in front of you. To make incremental progress, you have to have BALLS!
Let’s say you’ve used positioning and good timing to get yourself to an event where Richard Branson is speaking.
You see him alone in the corner of the room after his presentation.
Do you have the balls to go up to him and say hi?
If so, could you parlay that into a small bit of progress by saying, “Hey, I’ve always wanted to get more involved in space travel. How can I work for Virgin Galactic?”
Chances are, he might give you a lead. Maybe it’d be to a manager or HR person and go on his way.
Or maybe he’ll actually start taking to you, learn more about your story and give you a real connect.
Either way, you’ve now incrementally improved your situation because you put yourself in the right place (positioning) enough amount of times (luck) for you to create new opportunities for yourself.
You can see that your Spectrum of Possibility can actually grow “tendrils” that reach out in any direction towards your intended goal, as long as you put yourself in the right place, enough times, and have the balls to make situations happen when they present themselves.
It might look something like this…
How to get to space
It’s up to you…so make a move
It’s so easy to look at lofty goals and assume that there’s no conceivable way to get from [here] to [there].
But the reality is that your path in life DOESN’T have to be linear.
You DON’T have to go through point “B” in order to go from “A” to “C.”
You can skip steps. You can go around roadblocks.
You can go off the map.
But you have to be willing to put yourself out there in the right place, enough times to actually activate some of the “luck” that’s bound to happen.
Your initial improvements will come in the form of small successes — but if you keep at it, you can turn those small breaks into huge opportunities and end up in a completely different place than you were when you started.
Question:
What’s one lofty goal you’d like to achieve that seems to be outside of your Spectrum of Possibility right now?
Let me know in the comments, and we’ll brainstorm on how to get there 
PS — if you haven’t read my ultimate guide How to Connect With Anyone Without Networking, read that now. And make sure to download the free PR hacking template. It incorporates many of the concepts we discussed here.
